Bad Joke

[Skipper Halberd]

"Stuck with a mutt in the middle of a desert. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke." Skipper mused with a snort, looking over at the dog in question as they sat huddled in some decrepit old building. Upon finding it, Skipper had tried finding out what it was. She soon gave up when it became apparent that most of the writing was too sun bleached to read.

Not like it matters anyway. Could be a strip club and I'd still take shelter in it.

Huffing, Skipper yanked out her sleeping bag and laid it out, her double-bladed spear lying close at hand. "Well, make yourself useful Fleabag and listen for intruders." She instructed before moving to get into the bag. Just beginning to slip inside, Fleabag's head lifted and turned somewhere. A growl left him, and  Skipper jerked upright again.

Are you serious?! Just as I was going to sleep too! Goddammit!

"Alright asshole, come out now! Cause I swear, I'll make it much worse if I have to hunt you down!" She warned, grabbing her spear and turning towards where Fleabag was snarling. She was pissed at being interrupted right before bed. Although she would have no problems with fighting someone if she had too. Especially if she was just one kill away from getting a 'good' night's rest.

"Don't try hiding now; it's no use."

[Mary Forest]

"That god damned vulture's staring at me again." Mary muttered to herself, giving a death glare to the creepy looking bird that had settled on the branches of a dead tree nearby. she wasn't paranoid, regardless of what people were saying about her, but that was the same one that had been following her all day. It was starting to get rather aggravating, it didn't have enough faith in her that it thought she was going to fall over dead any second.

Well she was going to show it. and maybe try to kill and eat it tonight if it was still around. tastes like chicken. Mary grinned to herself, and smiled even wider at the site of some crap hole building. well she found a place to sleep tonight at least. see the vulture follow her through a closed door! ha! "though there's probably a hole in that place somewhere it could get in. will have to check." she considered, before realising how stupid it was to check the building for potential vulture windows. man the sun was doing weird things to her brain.

Walking towards the door Mary froze at the sound of growling, her hand stopping just short of the rotting wood. "ah crap baskets....." Mary whispered, pulling her knife out and holding it out ahead of her as she pushed the door, expecting something akin to a pack of wild animals to come baring down on her.

Instead she heard a womans voice, which was both a good and bad thing. bright side, there was very little chance of multiple animals, and humans can be reasoned with. most of the time. Fight or friend, Mary would get what she wanted out of this, as long as she won. Downside? she might get her ass killed over something you couldn't call a toolshed.

alright lets do it. "who said i was hiding!" Mary called out, calmly walking into the room. she lowered her knife just enough to show she wasn't trying to start anything, but still not enough that she'd leave herself open. "I didn't even know your dumb ass was here." she continued, finally catching a site of the dog and woman. Dog looked dangerous, so did th woman and her spear. yeah this could go badly, knives vs spears wasn't a fair fight. "i was planning to sleep here and go off my merry way in the morning. don't know who you are, nor do i care. so if it's all the same to you, i'd rather not have to kill you and your dog. Don't start anything we'll regret!"

[Skipper Halberd]

Oh thank hell I don't have to chase a bitch.

Eyes roaming, Skipper took in the woman who entered. She looked like she'd been wandering a while. It was easy to spot. "No one says when they're hiding. That ruins the damn point." She replied with a sneer. As the woman went on, Skipper had to raise an eyebrow. She was talking lip to a person with a spear while holding a knife?

She's got balls, I'll give her that.

When she added the last bit, Skipper actually broke out laughing, shaking her head. "You kill me? Ha! That's rich!" She said, her tone amused. A wolffish grin broke out onto her face and she sat back down. "You've got some real balls, girl. We can share this little shit hole for the night. Just don't try any funny business or you'll feed Fleabag here." She warned, cackling.

She smacked Fleabag too to stop him from growling. "Shut your trap." She ordered, and the dog quieted and laid back down. Skipper looked at the woman. "What's your name?"

[Mary Forest]

Mary opened her mouth to give some kind of snappy, witty response. after a moment she closed her mouth again, "that's a damn fine point actually." she conceded with an amused smirk, finding it pretty funny if she was honest. Least she wouldn't get bored.

Oh hey it turned out Mary was funny too! although she suspected she was being laughed at not with. That was actually quite aggravating, to not be considered a threat. Mary felt pretty offended. "You can keep on thinking anything you want." she muttered, shoving her knife back into its sheath with a little extra thought. Maybe she could get the woman to agree to a fist fight later, put her money where her mouth was. This woman was pretty enough that Mary rather liked the idea of a fight.

Smiling right back, Mary slung her bag to the ground and then sat down too, her back resting against the wall opposite her new room mate. "Thank's ya kindly Miss." she agreed, actually being sincere for once. "you really shouldn't worry so much. I don't hurt anybody that ain't got it coming." she said, although the way that woman had laughed made her wonder if she was completely sane. Hey if she wasn't join the club. "Slept in worse places. it'll do fine."

"Mary Forest. at your service." she introduced, pulling off her left boot so she could rub feeling back into her heel. "It's a beautiful weapon you've got there." she said with an appreciative glance at her spear. Really, if Mary had to loose a fight she hoped it was something worthy like that thing, not a crappy shiv like most people carried. not that she was even capable of accepting a loss in a fight.

[Skipper Halberd]

Well right me sideways, someone who can admit when they're wrong.

Skipper smirked. That was hard to come by. As the girl went on, looking a bit miffed, Skipper snickered. "I was gonna do that anyways." She said with a cheeky smile. "But if you wanna wrestle then I'm game. You're pretty hot." She added with a suggestive smirk.

She waved off the thanks and then snickered. "Everyone's got it coming to em eventually. Specially me." She commented. "But yeah I've slept in shit holes even worse than this one. Least it has some kind of roof." She added, looking at with a slight scowl before turning her attention back.

"What kinda service we talking about?" She asked with a wolffish grin before snickering and shaking her head. "Skipper Halberd. And thanks." She said, glancing at her weapon with a wry smile. "My clan found a forge or something and one guy knew how to work it like a pro. Made all our weapons." She explained before looking back at Mary and grinning.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm ex-Furrina. Pretty sure I lost the membership when I killed the rest of my family." She said, scratching her chin. She paused and then rolled her eyes. "Ok not all of them. Some Bast and mercs killed the others, but I did most of the damn work."

[Mary Forest]

Okay she was absolutely being laughed at, but she was starting to suspect it wasn't coming from a nasty place, so Mary couldn't help smiling. Especially at what was almost flirting. Especially, especially when it was flirting aimed exactly at Mary's weak spot. "Either definition of 'wrestling' sounds fun to me." she replied, having not expected the woman to be so forward, not that Mary minded at all.

Mary couldn't help shaking her head at the bit about everyone at large. "That ain't even close to right." she insisted, the idea being the complete dead set opposite of her own philosophy, that most people were at some fundamental level, good. And more importantly that all those good people deserved to be protected from the asshole minority. Like herself and the woman sitting across from her. But moving on from that before they got to arguing over nothing. "It's free of bugs too. that's a nice bonus. Ever woken up with millipedes in your hair? don't recommend it." she remembered the amount of panicked flailing she'd done that morning with a nostalgic laugh, it sure as hell hadn't been funny at the time but was hilarious with time.

"All depends on how nicely you ask." Mary grinned back, finally glad to have a name to put to a face. for some reason not knowing bugged her. And immediately Mary stiffened, her hand going to the hilt of her knife. 'clan.' was a particular word a particular group used and it put her on edge instantly. Because they were back to talking about that asshole minority she held such a problem with.

Just when she was thinking what a shame it would be to have to try and kill someone she was getting along with, she was able to sigh with relief at the rest of the story. Mary's eyes widened in surprise, an entire clan of those bastards? seriously? Mary let out a barking laugh, letting go of her weapon and clapping her hands together. "Holy shit! And all this time I've been thinking three of them was something to brag about!" she pulled the hair tie out of her ponytail and let it fall loosly behind her, shoving the band into her pocket. "I wish I could have seen that. Best news I've heard in a month." it didn't even matter how long ago it had happened, a bunch of evil people were dead, so that was her day made.

[Skipper Halberd]

A pleased grin grew on Skipper's face at Mary's response about wrestling. She shifted slightly, facing Mary more. "Good, cause you woke me up and now I'm too riled to go to bed without expending a bit of energy towards something." She said with a snicker.

Thank Hell she's not a prude.

She scoffed at being wrong and shrugged. "Whatever. To each their damn own." She said, not really up for arguing unless it was the physical kind. Instead she laughed and nodded her head to Mary's comment on bugs. "Oh hell yeah that's happened. It's fucking disgusting and Fleabag here tried eating them." She said, indicating the canine with her head.

"Can I please have you lying on your back under me?" She asked in a seductive purr, grinning devilishly. There was that initial stiffness as Mary caught the word clan, but then she downright applauded Skipper. Her grin growing, Skipper laughed heartily.

"You should've, it was goddamn magical. And oh did it feel good to kill those bastards." She said with a wistful smile. "You wanna talk about people having it coming? They did. Was like I was doing lady Karma's work for her." She added, cackling.

[Mary Forest]

Life is strange. sometimes. just sometimes. you go into a building expecting nothing more then a bad nights sleep and a few mosquito's and instead find a beautiful woman that wishes to sleep with you. Because apparently that was a thing which could actually happen outside the minds of teenage boys hitting puberty.

Vaguely Mary considered if this was proof her Grandfather was right, there WAS a God and he DID love her. It would also explain how she kept surviving all the stupid crap she did.

Evangelical revelations aside, Mary laughed at Skippers words, "hey, like i said didn't do it on purpose, but in hindsight i'm glad i did. And besides, i like helping people out when i can." that was probably a hollow statement seeing she damn well had a lot to gain from all this, oh well what can ya do. Not like she felt bad.

Letting the more tense conversation die for good, Mary was pleased to hear it wasn't just her. "Agrh! that's so much worse!" she gave the dog a mocking look of disapproval, "how could you Doggie?" she asked the animal, not really expecting an answer. "And here was me thinking he was cute." note to self, Mary thought, don't let him lick your hand or something. "you seriously named him Fleabag?" which was actually perfectly in keeping with what she knew of Skipper so far. ask a stupid question.

And then Skipper was damn right sounding sexier then Mary had heard anyone sound before, which more or less killed her ability to think coherently. She visibly shivered and when she spoke there was a hesitation brought on by simply trying not to stammer. "I think we can manage that." she finally managed, suddenly aware how hot the room was.

"No arguments there. I reckon those freaks are akin to cancer, more of 'em we scrape from the world the better right?" she agreed, "I'm surprised though, i figured if anyone out there had guns it'd be them? Guess i should count the blessings i'm wrong again?" if she got some hints on killing the Furs, Mary would be thrilled and this seemed a good source of Intel.

[Skipper Halberd]

Snickering, Skipper rolled her eyes but now the less grinned. "How very generous of you." She snorted. "Maybe you'll be the next saint or something." She added with a smirk. She didn't care that much though. Mary seemed willing and that's all she needed.

She laughed again and shook her head as Fleabag just glanced at Mary and huffed. "I named him Fleabag cause he wouldn't leave me alone no matter how many times I insulted him. Fleabag just stuck, and he probably has them anyways." She said, shrugging dismissively.

She was much more interested in the reaction she go out of Mary after her 'polite' question. Grinning wickedly, Skipper had already pounced on Mary and pinned her to the ground. "Good." She purred before laughing at Mary's next comment.

"I should probably be offended since you keep insulting what used to be my people, but then again I don't want to have jack shit to do with them now but killing them." She said with a shrug. "And as for guns, some of the big daddy clans have them. Mine wasn't that huge." She added before leaning down with a wicked smirk.

"But are you gonna shut up so I can fuck you now?"

[Mary Forest]

Taking in the stuff she was told about Fleabag, Mary considered that it was one of those 'proof she has a heart' things. If she really could care about a dog like this she couldn't be the cold bitch she was presenting herself as. Not that that meant Skipper was a good person, Mary was starting to suspect she wasn't. But Skipper wasn't a bad person, and Mary suspected that the problem lay in that Skipper didn't really know that. "well he's cute." she said letting it all go and focus on the more fun things.

Like the fact she was now laying on the floor, staring up at the pretty blonde woman with an excited gleam in her eyes. Any other woman, Mary would proceed to flip the situation and insist that she got to be on top. But somehow she knew Skipper wouldn't have any of that, and Mary would rather submit this one time then waste time they could be enjoying themselves with going in pointless circles. Her hands moved up to Skippers sides and under her shirt so she could finally make skin to skin contact.

"Hey. You wanting to kill them only makes you hotter to me. I wouldn't complain." she teased, storing the news about guns away in her brain. Be very careful going after the big deals. well shoot she already knew that one. But that went out the window when Skippers face came oh so much closer.

"Make me." she challenged with an arrogant smile, trying to provoke Skipper to see what would happen. leaning up she brought her lips a hair breath from the blonde's left ear and whispered, "if I can stay quiet it means you aren't that good."

[Skipper Halberd]

Skipper snorted at that and shrugged, eyeing Fleabag with a raised eyebrow. "Well, he's not uglier than most people I've met. Haven't seen many other dogs, but I guess he's fine. Prettier than some I suppose." She offered at least with a shrug of her shoulders. She doubted the dog would win any beauty contests anytime soon.

But who gives a shit about those?

Skipper was more concerned with the woman now underneath her, whose hands were already under her shirt. Skipper grinned at her willingness and initiative, pleased. If only most encounters with other people ended up this way. Skipper might actually consider being social. "So that's what you're into? Kinky." She purred teasingly, settling against the girl.

Skipper's grin double into a fiendish one and she she bit down on Mary's earlobe. "Oh I'll have you screaming." She promised before moving in for an actual kiss before her hands started moving. This was no soft meshing of souls. This was no act of love. It was more akin to animals in heat getting relief for the hell of it. Skipper was rough and insistent, her cations more to draw out pleasure than affection. She didn't care if she left marks, but she didn't mind getting some of her own. True to her word, she definitely expended some energy before finally falling asleep.

In the morning, she didn't give a single care for her state of dress as she stretched out. "Guh. Fucking sun." She growled, covering her eyes. "Hey, wake up. You too, Fleabag." She said, prodding Mary in the side before sitting up.

[Mary Forest]

Seconds in Mary knew she was going to enjoy this when she felt Skipper bite her, getting a quick gasp out of her. Which was followed up by a short kiss that signified things starting for real. It was, surprisingly, exactly what Mary had thought was lacking from almost every previous partner she'd had. Too many people were all about cuddling and whispering compliments and all this other crap Mary had no time for. This was more the two colliding in a way that just happened to be pleasurable rather then destructive.

Not that that wasn't part of it. Skipper was rough without Mary even hinting she liked that sort of thing, and was eager to give as good as she got. When they fell asleep eventually it was more next to each other then together, with neither of them bothering to move.

That morning, Mary woke up in the nicest possible way being prodded. Groggy and not entirely aware of what was going on at first, Mary opened her eyes, took in the sight of the woman next to her, and promptly remembered perfectly well. "yeah, yeah. i'm up, stop poking me." she murmured, dragging herself up and trying to make her tangled hair behave and stop falling in front of her eyes. Well that had been fun.

as much as she wanted to lay there and rest for another hour or so, she was thirsty and dragged herself out of what really didn't count as a bed over to her pack, where she retrieved and downed about a third of her days ration of water. hrrm, note to self find a refill soon.

Mary stood up, likewise unbothered about getting dressed for now, and held out the bottle to Skipper. "you can drink 'till the bottle's halfway point. I need it to last." which wasn't really more then a couple mouthfuls, and a lot less then what Mary had just drank. If they were anywhere but the desert she'd have said have as much as Skipper wanted, but sometimes trying to be nice had to give way to the reality of the situation.

"I ain't got much food. But we could see if that fucking vulture's still waiting for me. bet you could get it with your spear and...." Mary trailed off and looked down at Fleebag, who was suddenly locked in place, growling at the door with his teeth bared and his fur on end. "and the hell is with him?" putting two and two together quickly despite her earlier grogginess, Mary grabbed her jeans and pulled them on at record speed, everything else could wait because everything else lacked any kind of weapon attached to them.

she moved towards the door, her hand moving down and pulling her knife half way out of its sheath. "can you calm him down? the noise is making it bloody impossible to-" there was a loud slam against the door (which luckily for them both opened outwards) and the unmistakeable sound of at least one something moaning.

"Oh it is too early for this shit." Mary complained, putting her weight to brace the door to try and help it stay shut. "Skips. spear. now." Mary ordered, knowing she'd catch hell for bossing such a person around but being too worried about being eaten to care.

[Skipper Halberd]

Although Mary seemed to wake up, Skipper grinned and prodded her a few more times before getting up and getting dressed. "Gaaaaaah holy shit I'm starving." She huffed, scowling as she yanked up her pants. She took the bottle when offered, still not wearing a shirt as she took a few sips and handed it back. "Thanks. Damn I was thirsty too." She said before getting the rest of her clothes on.

"Vulture, huh? That sounds nice. If--" But then she stopped as Fleabag started growling. Frowning, Skipper finished dressing and grabbed her spear. "Shit, you've gotta be kidding me. What the fuck is it now?" She growled and moved forward with Mary towards the door. "No can do. Besides, her only gets this loud around--" And cue the slamming and the moan.

"Sag-skins. Just great." She snarled. "I've already got it. Come on, let's kill them and be done with this shit." She said, standing by the door with her spear at the ready. "Open the door and let's do it!"

[Mary Forest]

"sag-skins?" Mary asked, pausing to look bemused, "that's a new one." she said with a snort, finally getting her knife completely ready. "Alright. let's do this, 3. 2. 1." on one she kicked the door with all her strength, hearing whatever had been behind the door hit the ground from the door hit it in the face out of nowhere, grinning Mary charged forwards before Skipper could get the chance, planning to quickly finish off the floored Rotter while Skip was still close enough to cover her.

And immediately Mary almost died. She'd assumed she'd cleared the area and the door would cover her right, completely unaware there was a Rotter standing just next to the left of the door, one that immediately lunged for her with decaying hands. If Mary hadn't brought her arm up completely by reflex she'd have had her face bitten off then and there. But as it was her forearm blocked the things throat and with all her strength she was able to keep the snapping jaws away from her.

It powered her back and almost brought her to the floor, but before it could, her other hand came flying up towards it. The hand holding the knife. The point entered the things temple and kept going until the entire blade was dug into its brain. its body went into a few pathetic spasms and died, Mary shoving it away and managing to pull her weapon free.

Vaguely she noted the thing had left a nasty looking scratch along her left shoulder that was already bleeding. Her mind calculated how close that had been to the end and it made Mary start giggling. she couldn't help it, it was just hilarious. How pathetic would that have been. Plus she'd just killed a rotter, and for some reason that always made her laugh.

still chuckling, Mary backed up against the house, and glanced around to see where Skip was, where the infected were, and what was the best thing to do next.

[Skipper Halberd]

"Yeah, sag-skins. Cause they look like saggy ass ball sacks. But whatever lets just kill them." Skippered growled before Mary counted and opened the door. Immediately Mary went down and Skipper swore while stabbing one Rotter that was trying to follow, easily piercing through with her spear's blade. There seemed to be about six total, including the one on Mary and the one Skipper just killed.

"Come on you little shits! About time someone put you out of my misery!" She roared, stabbing out furiously with her spear. Fleabag was there too, snapping at any of the Rotters that came too close. Since there was only one entry and Skipper had a longer reach, it wasn't that hard.

It's like I'm holding a fucking pass or something.

She laughed at that as she kicked away one Rotter that got too close before slicing it's hand off. She had already killed two others, leaving two remaining.