Jack McCarthy

[Jack McCarthy]

Jack Shawn Mccarthy

FACE CLAIM: Andrew Garfield 
---------------------------------

AGE: 22
GENDER: Male
ORIENTATION: Heterosexual
GROUP: Axios
POSITION: Self professed Inventor/Local idiot

WE ALL HAVE A STORY...

what's yours?

Now you're lookin' at a man that's gettin' kind-a mad

I had lot's of luck but it's all been bad

No matter how I struggle and strive

I'll never get out of this world alive…

-

Fuck. Sand. J-Just. Just fuck it. You know what’s the worse about it? It’s everywhere. As far as the eye can see, miles of mild of annoying itchy grainy shite. Just once, Just ONCE I want to go to a place that wasn’t buried in the stuff, Maybe, butter? Can you imagine that? A land totally covered in Butter? That would be amazing everyone would be slip sliding around wweeeeeeeeeee. if you’re hungry you can just flop on your face and nom away, Let me ask you something. Have you ever tried to eat sand? It ain’t chocolate. Trust me I know I’ve eaten sand….

...Far...Far too many times,

That’s always been my abiding memory of the world. Just miles and miles of sand. See, I wasn’t born In the big city, the populated places. Oh no no no no. I was born in a small little village as far away from the capital as possible I don’t remember much from my child hood. I never knew my parents, but that’s nothing special, If you get one living parent you’re lucky. If you got TWO parents? well, then you’re a unicorn. Not to brag, but I always knew I was different from the other kids, that I was a child prodigy. See, the other kids? Ok, sure They didn’t want anything to do with me after they found me shoving rubber balls in my nose. (I’m sure it must have been important at the time) but that’s ok, because they were….I was different from normal p people, I don’t know how best to describe it…..I just did things…. Yeah? Is anything I’m saying making sense? No?

Get used to it.

I remember, when I was like….Nine? Yeah Nine I think, We had these bandits, come around to the village. Great big fucker, who looks like he ate his own share of sand if you know what I mean? Basically this guy and his gang had a little deal worked out with the head of this village. Basically he doesn’t burn crap to the group if they paid up once every week. He doesn’t burn the entire village down. Got to hand it to him, he was quite an negotiator, anyway this guy had a son, about my age….and I may have smacked him in the face with a stick. Why? Like I said, I just do things at times, Again it was a good idea at the time. Sure I woke up in the hospital hours later but I made my point…

Whatever that was…

But the thing I most remember about my childhood was the day I found that old history book, And it had all these pictures of times when the world wasn’t….sand. Like all these buildings, planes...and I’m talking about the crap we have now, I’m talking about planes that actually look like they could fly, and I knew what I wanted to know with my life, I was going to make all of them leap up from the pages of history and into the real world, I shall be the greatest inventor the world had ever seen, Ok, sure. My early work may or may not have a nasty habit of burning and or exploding, but Charles Darwin said you can’t change the world without burning down a few houses, Sure, I can get by on my looks alone, big brown eyes, tall. Gangily and oh so very think, like if I turn sideways I’d become invisible. The ladies are into it though, eventually I got bored of my little town so packed up for somewhere that they appreciate brilliance...to Axios. Sure they said; “Jack, you’re an idiot everything you touch is terrible. You’re actually walking from here to Axois?! That’s like weeks away. you’ll never make it.” But hey? How hard can it be?

It’s like I always say; Life is like a tractor….Because...it has wheels...and it motors along and….

...Yeah I have no idea where I was going with that, That’s a really labored metaphor.

In hindsight maybe I shouldn’t have got that tattooed on my shoulder.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anyway I’ve been walking day and night towards the city and honestly it’s not so bad. Sure, people say I’m probably going to start hallucinating being out in the hot hot sun all the time but I’d think I’d know if that happened

Anyway, it’s been great talking to you Mr Rock, give my love to the wife and kids. What’s that?

...

What's a Baseball Bat?

BEHIND THE MASK...

who are you really?

SAMPLE: Dún do chlab, dún do bhéal,

Éist le mo scéal,

Má cheapann tú go dtuigeann tú,

Tá tú cur i géill,

Tá mé ag dul thú a bhodhradh,

Ceangail mé le slabhra,

Guile a mhac, ná bí caint cac,

Anseo i lár an samhradh,

Súistín búistín,

Buile beaga shúistín.

Ná bí a phlaidhca,

No gheobhaidh tú a leice,

Níl mé ag iarraidh,

Éisteacht le do chac bó,

Damhsa, damhsa,

Gan aon stró.

Buachaillí gránna,

Cailíní beaga dána,

Ní thugann mise áird,

Ar na Gárdaí Síochána,

Ar an gCeathrú Rua,

Amuigh anseo faoin tuath,

Léim anois, léim anois,

Léim anois go luath,



Curfá

Má tá sé mí-cheart,

Má tá sé mí cheart,

Is cuma liom is cuma liom,

Léimigí thart

Léim thart

Fag seo, eirigh as do pholl is léim thart

Léim (x12)



Freastailfidh mé thú,

Ar nós John McEnroe,

Má shúileann do bhean shuas,

Buaileadh mé an ho,

Cá bhfuil do chlann,

Cá bhfuil do cháirde?

Cá bhfuil an ceol?

Suas níos airde.

Agus díreach ar nós uisce te,

Tá mé a'bruith,

Má fheiceann tú mise ag tíócht,

B'fhearr dhuit bheith rith,

Mar tá mé ar nós 'Tom Cruise',

Sa scannán sin 'Top Gun',

Ní stopfaidh tú mise,

Leis an shotgun,

Má dheanann tú is gaoita thú,

Agus beidh tú i do staic,

Ní éireoidh tú arís,

Agus sin é an chraic,

Anois é mo stoir,

Éist le mo Ghlor,

Amach ar an urlar

ar nós Peigín Leitir Moir.



Curfá



Is mé an fear is fearr,

Sea tá mé tharr barr,

Ní fheicfidh tú mise,

I mo sheasamh ins an lár,

Ná an deireadh ach an oiread,

An taobh eile don droichead,

Má thagann said chomh fada liom,

Cuirfidh mise soir iad.

Amach ar an bportach,

Agus iad ag baint mhóna,

Déardaoin, Dé hAoine,

Dé Sathairn is Dé Domhnaigh,

Suas suas is síos,

Agus arais arís,

Glan do straois,

Tá sé salach agus clúdaigh le smaois,

Comh héadrom le cleite,

Comh te leis an leite,

Fanach tú é

Nó togfaidh mé é uaite.

USERNAME: Robbo


AGE GROUP: 22 (If you don't want to specify, you can put 'early teens', 'early twenties etc.

EXPERIENCE: Three years and a bit
WHERE DID YOU FIND US?You found me

[Mel *]

ACCEPTED
Should've made him gay.
All I'm sayin'.
Go do your claims and shite!